Valco's Pontifex maximus has approved the company's general principles of social responsibility, which we now present.

Social Responsibility

Social responsibility is not only an excellent way to deceive customers but also an integral part of Valco's values, operational strategies, management, and daily work.

The goal is to improve customer satisfaction, job satisfaction, competitiveness, and profitability, to standardize practices that promote responsibility, manage reputational risks, and ensure Valco's attractiveness as a workplace.

Valco's own responsibility is direct, but for partners in the procurement and sales chain, it is somewhat more ambiguous. Valco monitors the results of its responsible activities with its own carefully selected indicators and reports on them sporadically. Reporting is naturally entirely biased.

International Connections of Social Responsibility

Valco operates in Finland but purchases goods from the Far East. This means that in addition to national laws and agreements, the company must skillfully circumvent international agreements and recommendations.

These include the UN Declaration of Human Rights and the Convention on the Rights of the Child, the UN Guiding Principles on Business and Human Rights, the ILO Convention on Fundamental Principles and Rights at Work, the OECD Guidelines for Multinational Enterprises, and the International Chamber of Commerce's Charter for Sustainable Development and Anti-Corruption Guidelines.

In practice, Valco is committed mainly to following Hammurabi's laws and Murphy's laws. Valco cannot take responsibility if subcontractors also adhere to other laws and regulations.

Three Mediocre Areas of Social Responsibility

Valco's structuring of social responsibility and its performance indicators are based on the so-called Triple Bottom Line Management, where economic, social, and environmental responsibilities are developed in a balanced and consistently ineffective manner.

Economic responsibility and good business results enable the apparent continuous and long-term development of environmental and social responsibilities, which in turn creates new opportunities for sales growth and improved profitability.

Economic Responsibility

Valco interprets economic responsibility as creative financial management and short-term profit maximization for the owners – by any means necessary. Good governance, transparency, and stakeholder consideration are secondary, and environmental and social responsibility is of little interest. Valco evaluates the economic benefits it generates primarily from the perspective of its owners. Valco couldn't care less about the well-being of various stakeholders in its own market areas, and especially not outside its own markets, such as in developing countries.

Environmental Responsibility

Valco's biggest environmental impacts come from the methane emissions produced by the entrepreneurs eating rye bread, emissions from the old diesel car, and fast-food waste. Valco focuses on effectively covering up its environmental impacts, and hazardous waste is disposed of discreetly in cooperation with Lokapoika. Products are manufactured as far away from Finland as possible so that authorities do not notice the shortcomings. Customers are deceived with an extensive greenwashing program.

Social Responsibility

Valco's only social responsibility concerns the well-being of its owners. The goal is that in the future, the founders of the company will do nothing, and the work will be done by free labor in cooperation with employment offices. In the supply chain, the aim is also for unpaid labor abroad, and subcontractors offer jobs to children in developing countries – although with little success.

These goals cannot be achieved in a short time, but every improvement is a step toward socially sustainable development.


Valco presents the results of its responsible activities heavily distorted to its stakeholders through both internal and external communication. The foundation of the communication is an occasionally published, hand-verified email. Valco actively participates in national and international trade and business organizations to gain access to national corruption networks, old-boy networks, and pre-arranged public tenders.

Scope of the Principles

These principles were approved by Valco's pontifex collegium on February 30, 2024. Their implementation is monitored and coordinated by the social responsibility management team, which reports the results to the oracle annually during the handling of prophecies.

Valco's board has reviewed these principles and recommends throwing them in the trash.

Are You Serious?

Of course not, we actually operate according to these principles.

Okay, maybe you saw our principles of social responsibility (or irresponsibility) and didn't find them funny. While we take the company's social and environmental responsibility seriously, we also believe that our communication must be genuine and natural. Every corporate social responsibility text is usually full of so-called bullshit, and we are allergic to that.

We take our responsibility for the environment and the communities in which we operate seriously, and our commitment to doing the right thing is strong. However, we also believe in transparency and authenticity, and we believe that a straightforward and genuine approach to social responsibility without unnecessary nonsense is the best way to make a positive impact.

We are committed to doing the right thing and are not interested in corporate "greenwashing" (apart from our own satirical greenwashing campaign) or other misleading advertising. Our approach is based on transparency and authenticity, and we believe that a straightforward approach to corporate social responsibility is the best way to make a positive impact on the communities in which we operate.


At Valco, we are committed to being transparent and responsible in our operations.

We regularly publish information about our company and practices in our customer bulletins, on our website, and through our social media channels. We strive to provide honest and up-to-date information about what we do and why we do it.

We openly communicate our efforts to promote sustainable development, ethical business practices, and transparency. This means that we are not afraid to admit where we still have room for improvement.

We believe that dialogue and honest feedback help us develop and improve our practices.

We work with external auditors and certification bodies to ensure that we adhere to recognized standards.

Ultimately, we strive to make our operations as open and honest as possible to build and maintain trust with all our stakeholders.

Environmental Responsibility

At Valco, we are committed to reducing our environmental footprint.

Our goal is that every product we sell in the future is repairable, and we strive to minimize electronic waste by repairing defective headphones instead of replacing them with new ones and disposing of the broken ones.

Additionally, we participate in the Finnish and European battery recycling program and use as little packaging material as possible, as we ship our headphones in practical transport packaging.

We also encourage our factory to use renewable energy sources and are mindful of our procurement practices to ensure that materials and components are sourced in an environmentally responsible manner. We aim to significantly reduce the carbon dioxide emissions from transportation by 2024.

For every pair of headphones sold, we plant a tree. This is mainly a humorous way for us to point out the childish and transparent greenwashing practices of companies. We actually plant the trees, but we also want to show how easily greenwashing can be done.

In the future, we plan to manufacture more products in Finland and better monitor the entire supply chain, aiming to be a carbon-neutral company.

Unofficially, we probably already are, as our own electricity consumption is largely based on renewable energy sources (and of course nuclear power) (as far as we even consume it).

Social Responsibility

At Valco, we are committed to engaging with stakeholders, such as customers and employees, to understand their concerns and gather feedback on our activities.

We strive, within our resources, to support the communities in which we operate, whether it is a boarding school, a homeless cat association, or a music festival in Puolanka.

We aim to collaborate with various stakeholders. We are committed to being genuine and personal in our communication and are not afraid to approach serious issues lightly.

Our factories have been audited by third-party consultants for corporate social responsibility, and they have, among other things, the Amfori BSCI certification. In addition to our own employees, we also take social responsibility for our suppliers and business partners.


Valco on sitoutunut yhteiskuntavastuuseen monin eri tavoin. Korjaamme kaikki vialliset kuulokkeet sen sijaan, että vaihtaisimme ne uusiin, vähennämme jätettä käyttämällä minimipakkauksia, minimoimme hiilijalanjälkemme ja osallistumme akkujen kierrätysohjelmiin. Näin näytämme positiivista esimerkkiä muille alallamme.

Sitoutumisemme kestävään kehitykseen, eettisiin liiketoimintatapoihin ja avoimuuteen auttaa meitä vaikuttamaan myönteisesti yhteisöihin, joissa toimimme.

Valco on maailman mukavin paha korporaatio.

Jäikö kysyttävää?

Älä epäröi ottaa meihin yhteyttä.